When I saw this Friday’s topic I wasn’t sure that I was going to have anything to write, although I’d really like to participate in Five Minute Friday as much as possible this year. And then this morning as I was folding old clothes into plastic bins and listening to my kids play a whole slew of thoughts on the word ‘FIGHT’ came. Here’s my 5-minute, unedited stab at putting those thoughts into a comprehendible post.
It seems like a lot of days right now I’m telling my kids “Don’t fight.” They’re constantly arguing over whose turn it is or who isn’t taking a turn. Things that are inconsequential become the biggest deals when you’re two and four.
But as I thought this morning, I wondered if maybe that’s the wrong refrain to be singing. Do I really want to be teaching my kids not to fight?
Not to fight with each other, yes.
Not to fight with their parents or teachers, yes.
But not to fight in general?
Don’t I want to raise fighters? Raise kids who will fight for the things in this world worth fighting for?
Their own personal boundaries and opinions.
I realized that I don’t really want to raise my kids to believe that “Don’t fight” is the be all end all. I want to raise them so that they know how to fight fair and coherently and how to fight for those causes worth fighting for and how to know what things aren’t worth it.
The people that we most admire in this world were fighters. Those who fought for freedom. For equality. For Jesus. For love of others.
I want my kids to be able to know what’s off limits in fights with their spouses. Ancient history? Not acceptable. Below the belt shots? Definitely not. But using language and words to explain your feelings and your needs in a respectful way. That’s good fighting that’s going to benefit you in the long run.
Maybe, on days when I’m feeling especially good and have the patience to spend some time. On those days when I feel like I’m supermom and can conquer anything. Or those days when God gives me a super anointing of grace. Maybe on those days I should sit down with my kids. And instead of simply saying “Don’t fight” I should teach them about the things worth fighting for and how to fight with respect and honor. Because more than anything I want my kids to fight for what’s right. Ok, not more than anything. But more than a lot.
I think I might revisit this theme later. I probably need a refresher on what the correct way to fight is. And there’s a lot more to be said about this. But hopefully this got my mind and yours thinking about those things worth fighting for.