So I’m turning 30 this month.
I have mixed feelings about it.
On one hand, I’m excited. My 20’s have been great and life changing and fantastic, but I’m looking forward to watching my kids get older and move into new phases and moving into a new phase of our life.
On the other hand, I’m kind of dreading it. But that’s mostly because I’ve been poking fun at Jason for being an “old man” for the past 13 months and, while I’ll still be able to do it, giving him a hard time when we’re both in our 30’s doesn’t seem as fun. And I’m a little afraid of paybacks.
A few years ago one of our friends and photographer (I call her ours because she takes all of our pictures, but you, of course, can have her take your family’s photos as well), posted a blog right before she turned 30. I loved the recap of each year of her 20s and knew that I wanted to do a look back like that when it was my turn. And I couldn’t get over her comment that she wasn’t going to flip out about an age until she turned 34 because that was the first age that she remembered her Mom being and so, to her, being 34 meant being her Mom.
I’m pretty sure that the first age that I remember my Mom being was 32 so I’ve still got two more years until I officially reach that age, but to me my Mom’s always seemed like she’s in her 30s. She and Dad got married right out of college and had me right before their second anniversary so she’s YOUNG! It seems like all of my growing up years the answer was thirty-something when I was asked how old my Mom was since she didn’t move out of her 30s until I turned 16. And while I embrace being like my Mom because, let’s face it, she’s awesome, I’m not exactly sure that I’m ready to be a full fledged grown up.
But I guess time determines that more than your feelings and, in reality, I’ve been pretty grown up for years now seeing as I’m about to have my third child. Just for a second though, let’s look back at all that happened to me in the last decade. It really was wonderful and included so many fantastic things and changed my life in so many ways!
At 20, I spent a month of my summer interning in Washington, DC with Senator Jeff Sessions. It was scary and lonely and amazing and so much fun. I met my friend Sarah and we got to experience the world of national politics together which was loads of fun. That was also my first year on our Panhellenic Exec as the Judicial Board Chairman while we were trying to implement lots of changes to our recruitment policies at the mandating of nationals. I remember a lot of tears and isolation through that but I also grew up a lot as I worked with administration, chapter Presidents, and National officers to try and get our sorority system in line with National standards.
At 21 some of my pledge sisters were starting to get married and the end of college was looking imminent. I spent my summer in Tuscaloosa working on NPC Exec work and enjoyed my last recruitment of college by welcoming three girls that I loved from my hometown into my sorority. Jason and I got engaged that fall as did my roommate so things turned into full out wedding planning mode. In the spring I received a job offer and Jason and I found a place to live and looked forward to getting married.
22 was a big year for me in that I graduated from The University of Alabama, started a new job, and got married. We honeymooned in Mexico before going back to the real world (me at work and Jason at school) and had to learn how to adjust to being married and “grown up” in a college town. I got Luca for Jason as a one month anniversary present. In the spring we started figuring out what we were going to do after Jason graduated which included another job opportunity for me, that I eventually turned down, and house hunting in North Alabama.
At 23, Jason and I bought our first home and were settling into married life with both of us working. I was working from home and he was going in to the office which required a whole new set of adjustments but we were figuring out the whole married thing. We met some great friends and started hanging out with them a lot and got involved with a wonderful Sunday School class. We decided that we were ready for kids during this year but the Lord thought we needed a little more time which turned into a real growing season in our marriage.
At 24, we got pregnant and then found out that we were having a little girl. My parents dog Lucky died. We also got to celebrate with friends who got married and those that had children. We took a baby moon to Rosemary Beach and then a family trip back down there in the spring. And, I started a blog!
25 was the year that I really grew up. Charlotte joined our family and my life changed forever on that day. I never imagined that I could love someone like I loved her. I decided to stay at home with her which was the most wonderful and hardest time over that first winter. We sold our house and bought a new one closer to my parents. We introduced Charlotte to Alabama football and then took her all the way to Pasadena for the National Championship game.
At 26, Jason and I took a couple’s trip to New York after I stopped nursing Charlotte. We enjoyed the chance to just be adults again. Jason changed jobs and took a voluntary reduction in work force at his old job to give him a few weeks off at home with us before starting his new job. The time between finding out that his job was going to start laying off and when he found a new job was very stressful for us. We took Charlotte to Orlando and Animal Kingdom for the bowl game after Christmas and as soon as we got home found out that James was on the way. We found out that our best friends were leaving the state to return to their hometown and enjoyed one last trip with them skiing before they moved.
27 was a busy year that started with a bang in April with tornado’s hitting our state and the SouthEast extremely hard leaving us without power for a week. In addition, I chaired the live auction for the Miracle Bash in August and our family of three became a family of four with James’ arrival in September. Our fall was spent going back and forth to football games and being worried about my grandparents as my grandmother recovered from a horrible fall and my grandfather’s cancer began winning the battle. We lost MyPapa in October and then muddled through our first set of holiday’s without him. In January, Jason and I got away by ourselves in New Orleans for the Championship game.
We started year 28 with the kids first trip to the beach. As if our life wasn’t crazy enough, we decided to purchase a lot and build a home. Thankfully we were able to sell ours fairly quickly which meant that we moved in with Mom and Dad for about three months before we moved in to our new house. I felt like we were getting into a routine with James turning one and Charlotte, three. Even though the year was busy, we were adjusted to being a family of four.
At 29, Jason and I started it off with a very belated 5 year anniversary trip to Paris. Getting away together for such a long period of time was so nice and we loved exploring a new country. Charlotte turned four and we were content with our family and right before James’ 2nd birthday we found out that Hadley was on the way. What had become our new normal quickly shifted as I spent the beginning of my pregnancy very sick. We took the kids to Disney (perfectly timed in my pregnancy, thank you Lord!) and had a blast. And have spent our time since then looking forward to Hadley’s arrival and trying to prepare to become a family of five.
As I look back at my twenties I see how many things changed. This decade made me a wife and a mother. Taught me about living while my heart beats outside of my body in two little bodies. Introduced me again to grief and the fact that this world is not our home. I began to worry less about what others thought of me and more about what God did. I changed from an idealistic twenty year old who saw the world in mostly black and white to someone who accepts and acknowledges the gray. My twenties might always be the decade that changed my life the most and I’m grateful for all that I’ve learned in them and how much I now know I still have to learn. I’m now looking forward to seeing what God has in store for my thirties. I trust that no matter what, it will draw me closer to Him and to His plan for my life.
