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Mommy Advice

Mommy Advice

dotMom – Branda Polk

I’m slow getting my notes into blog form from dotMom.  Please excuse the tardiness!

I knew that I would have a chance to do two breakout sessions while at dotMom and I had heard great things about many of them.  But Jason encouraged me to pick one session that was just for me and wasn’t necessarily about our family or our kids.  So I chose to go to Branda Polk‘s “One Hot Mama” session.

Branda is a fitness trainer and wellness coach and so I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into with her session but I was interested enough in trying it out.  I was so blessed with her session and all that I learned.  One of the things that struck me was at the beginning of her session when she read Romans 12:1-2 from The Message version.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering.  Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.  Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.  Instead, fix your attention on God.  You’ll be changed from the inside out.  Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.  Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. – Romans 12:1-2, The Message

Branda pointed out that the world says that “hot” is purely physical, but that God looks at our insides to judge our worth.  She drove home the point for me when she talked about how often we, as Mom’s, can feel like we don’t measure up and that what we’re doing doesn’t matter.  Wiping noses, making lunches, doing laundry.  Those monotonous things that seem so boring and tedious and like they couldn’t matter to anyone.  But these verses tell us to take our everyday life and place it before God as an offering.  Even though it might seem small to us, it’s all we have to give God and he values our gift.

I loved when Branda continued by talking about your child picking you a dandelion while at the playground.  She pointed out that a dandelion is a weed that we try and kill in our yard.  And yet, when our child gives it to us, we treasure and exclaim over it.  How often do I belittle what I can give because I look at it from the position of the supplicant as opposed to looking at it from the position of a loving parent.

Some other things that stuck out to me from her session were the following:

– We need to find something that we’re passionate about for ourselves and not just for our family.  We need to invest in ourselves.  She also gave a good idea to connect with your husband on something that one of you is passionate about and the other enjoys and do that together.

– Just like I tell my children that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, so am I!

– Instead of comparing yourself with someone, compliment them.  Maybe the other person can help you improve the area in yourself that you feel less confident in.  (i.e. if someone else is a great dresser and you feel like you never match, ask her to help you put together some outfits)

– Be aware that our daughters are watching what we’re wearing and if we wouldn’t be comfortable in them wearing something we don’t need to put it on ourselves.

Overall, I was so thankful that God directed me to Branda’s session.  I left feeling like there were lots of small things that I could do to improve my health, mentally and physically.  And I also now can use her as a resource if I have any questions!

Faith, Mommy Advice

dotMom – Jen Hatmaker

I’m going to start this out with being honest.  I haven’t read 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. To be even more honest, I’m scared to read it.  Although I would guess that purging a house for a move would be as good a time as any to read it.  I had also only read a handful of Jen’s blog posts ever before.  So I had no idea what I was getting into when I saw that Jen Hatmaker was going to be speaking for the first session on Friday at dotMom.  NO IDEA.  But I’m so glad that I got to hear her speak.

Jen taught me a lot in the 30-45 minutes that she spoke.  It was like God gave her the message just for me.  And from reading what others wrote about her talk it’s obvious that I’m not the only Momma dealing with fear and control issues in regards to my kids which is such a relief.  So often it seems like everyone but me has it all together and that might be what I love the most about blogs.  That you get to share your experiences and read about others’ and say, “I’m not the only one.  This must be normal.  At least someone else out there is dealing with this same thing.  Let me see how she’s handling it and maybe I can figure something out for me.”

I’m going to try and paraphrase and also direct quote some of the things that she said.  But, I’ll be honest, sometimes I was so caught up in listening that my notes don’t always flow cohesively.  And if you’re looking for a non-wordy summary of her talk this is not going to be the place to get it.  🙂

Jen started out making us laugh out loud with her stories about her family.  She told us that one of the things that she asks her kids when they say something they shouldn’t is, “Was it necessary? Was it kind? Was it true?”  She told us about one of her daughters who called her son an ugly name and answered no to the first two questions but vehemently agreed that the third was a yes!  I can see that happening in my house but I’m planning on implementing these three questions immediately!

She then started speaking about relaxing.  About parenting the way prior generations parented and not entertaining our children.  She talked about not taking chances with their safety (there will be no running down the freeway) but realizing that God is in control and I AM NOT so I need to stop agonizing over every little decision that I make because one wrong choice IS NOT GOING TO WRECK THEIR LIFE!

I loved her quote that “Fear makes an already hard job, motherhood, even harder.”  I’m not really sure what it is to mother without fear lingering in the back of my mind but I want to try it.  I’m guessing that it’s freeing and allows you to enjoy the short time that you have with your kids even more.  That it allows you to be spontaneous and chalk mistakes up for what they are, mistakes, without dwelling on all the possible –very unlikely– repercussions down the line.

Jen talked about that we’re trying to give our kids a “safe life” by removing all risk and pain and possible hurt from their life.  We don’t want them to be excluded on the playground.  Or make a bad grade.  Or get cut from the team.  We want their life to be perfect with none of the hardship, rejection, and negative emotions that we experienced.  But “a safe life has never been the mark of a true disciple. Conforming to the image of Christ, like Romans 8:29 tells us, is messy and hard and involves loss and struggle and failure.”  Jen said that “our job isn’t to shield them [from hardship] but to parent them through it.”  And I think at that point every Mom in the room started saying “Amen!”

She brought out a point that I’ve been struggling with recently and that is that our kids are smarter than we think and see more than we think.  I can say all that I want that I don’t want Charlotte to be like me in my fear or anxiety or anything else, but unless I’m not showing her those things, she’s going to see them and, to some degree, emulate them.  And just like Jen said, I don’t want to be the reason that my kids choose safety over courage.  She asked us to parent with diligence but to parent without fear.

That’s a hard task to aspire to but I think, with God’s help, we can get closer than we ever have before.  I might need to make a sign that says the following and put it on my mirror so that I can remember this every day, but this that Jen said was RIGHT ON.
“Scared Mom’s raise scared kids.  Brave Mom’s raise brave kids.  True disciples raise true disciples.”

Jen encouraged us to rest in God’s goodness in order to allow us to parent without fear.  She mentioned that the first day that was blessed in the history of time was the Sabbath, the day of rest.  God spent six days creating the world and then, He rested.  I’m pretty sure that if God rests then I need to rest also!

Jen used the story in Exodus 16 of the manna and the quail to remind us that God provides all that we need.  He provides just enough and that what he provides is only good for one day.  She reminded us that spiritual food is perishable just like physical food and that God will provide us just enough but it is only good for one day.  We must replenish our spiritual needs and our motherhood needs in advance or it won’t be good when we need it.

Jen told us about their family and their commitment to keep the Sabbath and make it Holy.  After worshipping with their church body (they have a church in Texas), they choose an activity that they can do as a family and spend that time using God’s gift of the Sabbath, that he has commanded us to take, as a sacred day.  She reminded us that our work (laundry, dishes, etc) will never be done but that we need to plan for a day of rest.  That taking a day to recharge and honor God is NOT being lazy and that those chores that we have will still be there the next day.

I left Jen’s message with a peace in my soul that I am enough for my kids and that God is enough for me.  I pray that I can hold on to that peace over the next days, and weeks, and months, and years and remember to relax and parent true disciples.

Faith, Mommy Advice

dotMom

Last weekend I got to head down to Birmingham for dotMom and I was so thankful for the opportunity!  It took a little bit of finagling schedules and locations to pull it off but my parents and Jason stepped in and allowed me the time off to rest and recharge and I am so grateful for that!

Being a Momma is HARD WORK and I think we all need some time off where we can relax and focus on ourselves and making ourselves the best Mom’s and Wife’s that we can be!  I was blessed all weekend by the fantastic speakers like Jen Hatmaker, Sissy Goff and David Thomas, and Angela Cottrell.  I want to recap my weekend in pictures and then start recapping some of my notes because MY WORD did I learn a lot this weekend and I want to share it with anyone who will listen!

I ended up going to Tuscaloosa with the kids and Mom and Dad on Thursday and then heading back to Birmingham first thing Friday morning.  Lifeway had a meet and greet for those who had registered for the event and said that they were bloggers so I right away got to meet some new friends like Stacy and Amy.  I also saw some big names like BigMama and BooMama in the breakfast but was too scared of looking too stalkerish to go introduce myself.  I did work up the courage to say hello to Kelly Stamps and Amanda Jones though!

Even though I felt like a complete stalker talking to them they were both so kind and sweet.  Kelly had some great things to say about being fearful for our children when we blog and trusting that God has given her this platform and so He will take care of her family’s security.  I didn’t know yet how that would tie into the afternoon’s message but it did and was very timely!

I then went and checked into my room at the Sheraton and was pleasantly surprised with the niceness of it but a little dismayed at the fact that the wireless internet WOULD NOT WORK at all!  Adding to my anxiety about that was the fact that our friend Erin had posted our sneak peek’s from James’ one year pictures and I couldn’t get them to pull up on my phone!  Thankfully Jason texted me the pictures and I was able to relax (again, a timely reminder!).

I did get to spend a few minutes catching up with a fellow pledge sister who works at the Sheraton.  I was very glad to get to catch up on life with Donna Carol and hear about how she is doing.  It’s funny to think that I met my pledge sisters TEN years ago!  It’s crazy that it’s been that long!

I then headed over to the first session with Jen Hatmaker and was so excited with my good friend Leigh met me.  It was such a blessing that Leigh and I got to spend the weekend together since we haven’t had any girl time without kids in I don’t know how long!  We’ve been friends since we were, I think three, and it’s always wonderful to get to spend some quality time with friends who have known you your whole life and already know your back story.  I loved getting to catch up with her and talk about how we can pray for each other and just relax!

After Jen Hatmaker’s amazing first session we headed to breakouts and I chose one called “One Hot Mama” by Branda Polk and “Teaching Your Children God’s Word” by Angela Cottrell.  Jason told me that I couldn’t only go to “Mommy” sessions and needed to go to one “me” session and I was glad that God directed me towards Branda’s.  I learned a lot!  And I’ve loved Travis Cottrell since I heard him at Deeper Still and was so blessed to get to sneak a peek into Angela’s heart and family and get some ideas on how to teach our kids to cherish God’s word.

We grabbed dinner at the packed Subway that was nearby and then headed back for another session with Sissy Goff and David Thomas.  I didn’t know what to expect with theirs but once they started I was floored.  They are counselors at Daystar Counseling in Tennessee and hearing them talk about the children and families that they work with every day made a huge impression on me.  I have also had their books on my “Books to Read” Pinterest board for ages and was so excited to get to pick them up and get them signed by Sissy and David after the session.

Leigh and I headed to our room to chat after the session and then enjoyed sleeping LATE (for Momma’s that is) until 8 am the next morning.  We barely made it through the Subway breakfast line before it was time for the morning session with Vicki Courtney and even though we both left just a tad before it was over to get back to our babies, what I learned was wonderful.

I highly recommend dotMom for any Mom’s out there.  It’s a conference that focuses on God but also on equipping Mom’s to live out their day to day life and isn’t full of lofty goals that are next to impossible to play out in real life.  They’re headed to Frisco, Texas in February and Chattanooga next September and I’m planning on being there!

To read some other recaps check out some that I’ve seen:
Lil Light ‘O Mine, dotMom part 1
Kelly’s Korner, Changing my Prayers
Sullins’ Spot, dotMom 2012
BooMama
Lil Light ‘O Mine, dotMom – main stage

*I know I got link happy on this post (sorry!) but I want to share all of the awesomeness! I’m also hoping to go back and add links to my posts from my notes once those go up too!

Mommy Advice

My Current Fav’s

I’ve been wanting to share some of my recent favorite things and thought that today, the day after a holiday, would be a good day to do it.  These are some things that we’re loving in our house right now! And just for the record, James is 10 months and Charlotte is 3 right now!
This might be the most played with toy that either of our kids got for Christmas.  James received these and they stayed put up for a while, but now that he’s been teething and is crawling around these rings are his, and Charlotte’s, favorite toy.  As soon as we dump them out Charlotte has to get herself some and James crawls around the house with one in his mouth most of the time.  They’re great because they can be cleaned in the dishwasher and they can link together to make a rattle.  James also loves rolling the round container around the house and crawling after it!
When James started having trouble sleeping a few weeks ago we finally caved and added something to his crib.  From looking at pictures on Facebook and Twitter I felt like we were the last holdouts to not putting anything in the crib until they’re a year and so I didn’t feel so bad about putting this soft small blankie in with James.  Sometimes he doesn’t want anything to do with it and then others I’ll walk in to find him cuddled around it.  I love how soft it is and the small size makes me less uncomfortable with him sleeping with it.

While James is still not interested in a bottle or sippy of any kind I love the idea of this one and am trying valiantly to get him to catch on.  This cup is designed to let you teach your child to drink from a straw by allowing you to squeeze the cup while the straw is in their mouth to show them that liquid is in there.  Since I taught Charlotte to drink from a straw with a milkshake and I’m not ready to introduce James to that pleasure this is my only option.  I’d love to skip the “traditional” sippy’s if possible!
Christy Nockels latest album, Into The Glorious
I can’t get enough of Christy Nockels’ new cd recently.  It is on repeat in the car, on my phone, and in the house anytime I have music on.  Some of my favorites are “Be Loved”, “Into the Glorious”, and “Sing Along.”  This is one album that you will not feel bad about spending the $9.99 to get the whole thing.  It is so uplifting and helps me turn even a rough day into a better one!

I found some of my old scrapbooking templates recently and added them to Charlotte’s art drawer.  She is loving tracing letters and numbers with them and does it a lot by herself.  She isn’t one that really enjoys me hovering over her trying to teach her things (and I honestly don’t have a lot of patience for it) so I’m glad that she’s working on writing her letters in some way!  These aren’t the ones that we have since ours are about 15 years old, but I thought I’d show you an example of what I’m talking about.
Praise Baby, Born to Worship
I try not to turn the tv on when the kids are up and a lot of days I’m pretty successful.  But there are some days that are just those days and I need something to give me a break and also to give the kids a break.  I have found that Praise Baby dvd’s work best for us.  It’s worship music so I don’t mind having the kids listen to it and Charlotte often gets up to dance to it.  James also enjoys watching the pictures every once in a while.  And Charlotte is recognizing even more animals thanks to asking what pictures are on the dvd’s.  This one, Born to Worship, is her favorite due to the “funny guy” (bird) near the end that has a head full of funny hair.  He cracks her up every time!
We’re still big fans of books over here and have shifted to more storybooks.  Charlotte loves lots of different series (Fancy Nancy, Angelina Ballerina, etc) but one of my favorites is probably the Ladybug Girl series.  There are sometimes when I try and soften some of the subjects (i.e. when they’re on the playground fighting the “scary monster” which is a squirrel) but I’ve found that introducing some topics like being scared and compromise or getting feelings hurt in a “safe” environment like reading a book with me helps Charlotte process the situation and figure out a correct way to handle it.  Lulu is a great character and I’m enjoying reading the books to Charlotte.
Sharpie pens in new colors!
And for a little nerd alert, I’m loving the new colors that the Sharpie pens are coming in.  They’re brightening my to-do lists and planner and just make me happy to write in them!

Mommy Advice

Eight month must have’s

Occasionally I like to put together a list of “must haves” for my kids.  It helps in two ways, one so that I can pass off a list of blog posts if friends ask for suggestions for items and two, so that I can remember what we were doing/loving during that time.  I haven’t done a post like this in a while and so thought that I would put one together.  Here is what we’re loving for James at (almost) 8 months!

Now that James is sitting we are using his floppy seat a lot!  We use it in high chairs when we go out to eat and will (at some point) use it in the grocery cart.  It’s so nice to be able to feel better about putting him into germs high chairs when we’re out.  And the best thing about this particular type of cover is that it all stuffs back up into the included bag/pocket for easy carrying!

Black Classic Baby Bjorn
We got our Baby Bjorn for the National Championship game to California with Charlotte and while we used it for that trip we didn’t use it much other than that.  However, I’ve found with James that I use it ALL THE TIME!  It is so helpful to be able to put him in it to take Charlotte in and out of school.  I’ve also used it when I need to run into Target or another store for something quick and don’t want to use a stroller or the shopping cart.  He loves hanging out in it and being able to watch everything around him.  I would highly recommend one, especially for a second child!
We made the decision to get rid of our big high chair and go with a smaller booster seat for James.  It has been so nice not to have such a huge area taken up with the high chair.  And this booster seat can travel with us when we go somewhere or can be put away if we’re not feeding him.  We just sit it on the table for dinner when he’s eating with us and it doesn’t even take up too much space.
James loves his workbench!  He will sit in front of it and play with it for a long time in baby time (10 minutes!) before he wants to play with something else.  All of the lights and sounds and things to push is perfect for this age!
James also loves this toy.  The gears come out of the main toy and they’re perfect for him to hold and chew on.  Charlotte also loves using them as teeny, tiny pom poms!
Zubels Caterpillar and other animals
Charlotte had a number of small BlaBla dolls that she loved chewing on and these are the same kind of thing only they have a lot more options for boys.  They are so soft and must feel good on James’ gums because they’re constantly in his mouth.  This one has a rattle which is nice too.  And the best part is that they are easy to throw in the washer and dryer to get them all clean again!
**As a sidenote, in case you’re curious you can wash pretty much any toy in the washer.  I don’t dry things that have a lot of plastic but I dry most toys.  Even things that just say surface wash, I usually throw in and they are fine.  If it’s really delicate I will put it in a delicates bag but I usually just wash them in with everything else.  If it’s a hard plastic toy I also throw those in the dishwasher all the time.  It is very rare that I give either of my kids a toy or animal that hasn’t first gone through the washer or dishwasher.  Just wanted to throw that out there in case you haven’t though of cleaning toys in that way!
We went ahead and moved James to a convertible car seat before our trip to the beach.  I feel like he’s a lot more comfortable in this than his infant seat because it just seems a little roomier and cushier.  Both of our kids are in Britax Marathon’s and we love them.  They will stay in them until they weigh out if I have my way!
James loves his Sophie much more than Charlotte did.  She is the one toy that is almost guaranteed to calm him down if he’s upset.  She is so soft and must feel so good to chew on!  The only downside to Sophie is that the instructions said not to put her in the dishwasher so be aware.  I just wash her with soap and water and she’s good to go again!

Mommy Advice, Recipes

Recipe Wednesday – Baby Food Peas, Carrots, and Sweet Potatoes

When I had Charlotte people would mention making my own baby food and I would almost convulse at the thought of it.  So Charlotte ate 100% store bought baby food and while I did try to buy organic most of the times, often they didn’t have as good a variety of combinations in the organic section so I would get non-organic.

But for some reason I had an itch to make my own baby food for James.  I’m not sure why since I have four times less time as I did when I had Charlotte but, regardless, I decided to try it.  A well meaning family friend gave me The Baby and Toddler Cookbook when James was born and I finally put it to good use once James turned six months old.

On my first baby food outing I made sweet pea’s and carrots.  Then, over the weekend I made sweet potatoes.  Not the most fun baby food but they have to start with the basics.  I did make a run to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get some needed items — namely a steamer basket and ice cube trays — but other than that I already had everything that I needed.

I think the cookbook will come in more handy when I’m trying to think of new things to feed James but since this was pretty basic I just needed to know how long I needed to steam this stuff since I had never steamed anything before.

I was very happy with the end product (even though James still isn’t a fan of the pea’s) and especially with how easy it was.  It took me less than an hour to make both of these batches and I got 24 cubes of baby food out of it.  I’m sure that it will take less time when I’m more confident with what I’m doing and don’t want to do one step, slowly, at a time to make sure I’m doing everything right!

And as far as storage goes, the cookbook that I have says that homemade food can be kept in the fridge for 3 days in an airtight container and in the freezer for 3 months.  If you are defrosting frozen food defrost in the fridge and not on the counter.

I am going to try and share recipes as I come across them but I also started a Pinterest board for it too in case you’re interested and want to check it out.  Before you start cooking I’d check out the “Dirty Dozen” list to make sure you buy organic produce that’s listed on the dirty dozen.

Baby Food: Sweet Pea’s
1 package frozen pea’s

1. Fill pan with 1 inch of water. Bring to a boil.
2. Place steamer into boiling water and pour pea’s into steamer.
3. Let pea’s steam for about 5 minutes, or until they are bright green and easily smash-able with a fork.
4. Run pea’s under cold water to stop them cooking.  Reserve cooking liquid.
5. Pour pea’s into a food processor (or blender).  Puree until they are the desired consistency, adding cooking liquid/milk to help thin out the mixture.
6. Pour into ice cube trays and cool until they are room temperature.  Cover with saran wrap to seal them.  After they are frozen you can transfer the cubes into a plastic bag.

Baby Food: Carrots
1 bushel organic carrots

1. Fill pan with 1 inch of water.  Bring to a boil.
2. Place steamer into boiling water and pour carrot’s into steamer.
3. Let steam for 6-8 minutes or until they are tender.
4. Remove carrots and run under cold water.  DO NOT reserve cooking liquid.
5. Pour carrots into a food processor.  Puree until they are the desired consistency, adding fresh water/milk to help thin out the mixture.
6. Pour into ice cube trays and cool until they are room temperature.  Cover with saran wrap to seal them.  After they are frozen you can transfer the cubes into a plastic bag.

Baby Food: Sweet Potatoes
2 sweet potatoes

1. Scrub the sweet potatoes clean.
2. Bake at 400 degrees for 45 – 60 minutes or until they are soft when you prick with a fork.
3. Scrape the insides into a food processor or blender.
4. Blend until you reach your desired consistency, adding water/milk as needed to help thin out the potatoes.
5. Pour into ice cube trays and cool until they are room temperature.  Cover with saran wrap to seal them.  After they are frozen you can transfer the cubes into a plastic bag.

(Step 5)

Even though James wasn’t the biggest fan the first time he tried them, he ate the peas better than cereal!