Valentine’s Day is not my favorite holiday by far. There is an intense pressure to make the day incredibly romantic which, when you’re a young couple with young kids, basically ruins any chance of it actually ending up romantic because you’re both so stressed. So I thought I’d help take the pressure off with some no or little stress options to love on your husband this Valentine’s Day.
1. Love notes in his briefcase
Whether they’re on your personal stationery or a post-it note, he will appreciate that you took even a minute out of your day to think about him. Our husbands work so hard and I often forget that just because he gets to leave the house and talk to adults all day that his work is still incredibly stressful. A little note tucked away as a surprise will go a long way to encouraging him and strengthening your marriage.
2. Cook his favorite dinner
Does your husband have a favorite meal that is time intensive? Mine does. It’s parmesan chicken. I used to make it often before kids but now I rarely do because it takes a while and I don’t want to take the time to make a big mess in the kitchen. But if you make a little extra effort to make his favorite meal, it won’t be a big time or money expense and can make him feel remembered as our spouse and not just the other person who lives with you.
3. A date night all about him
If you’re like us, we don’t get out on dates very often but when we do my husband is usually very generous to let me choose what we do. So why don’t you plan a date night that is all about your husband and what he loves to do. Set up the babysitter without him initiating a date, make reservations at his favorite restaurant, and then pick a movie that you know he wants to see but would never pick for himself.
4. Guilt free guy time
Whether it’s a round of golf, a night out to the bar with his friends, or a day spent hiking in the mountains, our guys need adventure. And even if they love spending time with you and the kids (which I’m sure they do), they will enjoy you suggesting them get out of the house with the guys just as much as you enjoy them suggesting you get out with your girlfriends. If you’re going to “gift” him this you could possibly go ahead and purchase a gift certificate to a restaurant, prepay his greens fees, or do something similar so that he doesn’t feel hesitant to take advantage of your offer.
5. Write a letter to his mom thanking her for the great job she did raising him
This might seem like it isn’t a gift for your husband, but I can assure you that it really is. Regardless of your relationship with your mother-in-law, you must admit that she did a great job raising your husband or you wouldn’t love him like you do. So why don’t you take a few minutes and write her a letter telling her the things that you appreciate in her son and acknowledging her part in raising him. Your husband will be incredibly touched that you reached out to his mom in such a way, I promise.
6. Try something new for him
While we love our husbands, our interests might not always align. You might love watching sitcoms and he loves watching reality shows. Or he might only read non-fiction and want to discuss those books with you while you only read fiction. Make an effort to try something new for him this year. Surprise him at dinner one night by bringing up the book that he’s reading and conversing on the topic because you downloaded it and are reading it too. When you sit down to watch tv one night, surprise him by choosing a new show in his favorite genre instead of in yours. And, who knows, you might find that you like his favorites a lot and you just never gave them a try.
7. Take away his least favorite chore for a period of time
As we get into a married routine certain tasks usually fall to one person or the other. Sometimes these align with each partner’s strengths and likes but there are some tasks that aren’t going to be enjoyed no matter which of you does it. Why don’t you figure out what his least favorite task is — taking out the garbage, ironing, sorting laundry, washing the car — and tell him that you’re taking it over for the next few weeks or months. The only catch is you have to make sure and remember that you’re doing it because you don’t want to offer and then forget so he’s doing it anyway and is now annoyed that you didn’t do what you said you would.
Valentine’s Day and every day in your marriage doesn’t have to be some extra spectacular event that is full of candlelight and roses. The little things that you do for each other are the ways that you really build intimacy and connection within your marriage. So surprise him this year with a thoughtful gift that will show him that you love and care for him much longer than a box of chocolates or a six-pack of beer will.
