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Five Minute Friday – Lonely

I’ve been hearing about Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday for over a month now, since I started following her on Twitter.  But have yet to get brave enough to join in.  But with today’s prompt being LONELY I felt like I couldn’t NOT join in.  The rules are to write for 5 minutes, unedited, so here goes.

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As a young girl I never thought that the word LONELY would describe my time as a stay at home mom.  Words that I thought would describe the experience:

Happy
Lovely
Fun
Easy
Fulfilling

It was always my dream to be a stay at home Mom.  I guess I never considered the fact that it’s a stay at HOME kind of job and the fact that HOME, even when it’s YOUR HOME, can get claustrophobic.

And so I find myself here.  With a four year old and an almost two year old.  At HOME almost every day and very rarely ALONE.

And yet, I am so lonely.

It’s amazing how being a Mom can be so wonderful and yet so isolating.

I wouldn’t trade this season with my kiddo’s for anything.  I am so thankful to be their Mom.  And so overwhelmingly grateful that I get to stay home with them.

But some days….

I just want to get out and meet a friend for lunch without it revolving around nap times.
I want to be able to run with my husband in the morning without constantly checking the monitor to make sure the kids are ok.
I want to be able to text with someone and not be asked constantly what I (or the other person) is saying.
I want to be able to not edit everything I say to omit worry or fear or tiredness or crankiness (yikes) out of my speech because of the little ears hearing.
I just want a second ALONE.

And that’s the crux of being a Mom.  Probably any Mom but I only have experience being a stay at home one so I don’t know even half of the troubles that a working out of the home Mom faces.

It amazes me that I can be lonely and yet never alone.  It’s a good thing that I can talk to God any time of the day regardless of company otherwise I might be even crazier than I already am.

I wonder if anyone else feels like this.  Surely this can’t be just me.

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Time’s up.

Kind of freeing to write like that.  Maybe I’ll join the party more often.  Thanks Lisa-Jo for having me!

Five Minute Friday

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4 Comment

  1. Reply
    Debby
    August 9, 2013 at 11:22 am

    Well done for your first time with this! I was a stay at home mom too. Loved it! But, yeah, sometimes you need to spend time with people who don’t find the word “poop” hilarious!

  2. Reply
    Jessica
    August 9, 2013 at 11:22 am

    Jennifer, it is NOT just you! I’m a stay-at-home mom of a four year old, too, and oh….the LONELINESS! I am saying a prayer for you RIGHT NOW that you will feel Jesus’ presence with you today, more than ever. I understand how you feel, new friend. I do.

    Visiting from FMF, and I’m so glad I did. Blessings to you today.

  3. Reply
    Richelle @ Our Wright-ing Pad
    August 9, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    most stay at home mamas feel this at times. i think some depends on how introverted or extroverted you are.

    remember, it is ok for your kids to see you fail and then apologize and ask forgiveness, seek restoration – you don’t have to be perfect before their eyes all of the time. it is better to be real. once i let myself off that hook, i discovered that i became a much more effective-far-from-perfect mama.

    may the Lord give you some good, satisfying fellowship today.

  4. Reply
    takingshapeslowly
    August 10, 2013 at 1:14 am

    Welcome to FMF! I hope you continue to write on Fridays…it’s a great way to grow: as a person, as a writer, even as a mother. At least for me. 🙂 I hear you about never being alone and being lonely all at the same time. I have a five year old and a 22 month old and still loneliness strikes.

Thanks for sharing!

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