I’ve been hearing about Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday for over a month now, since I started following her on Twitter. But have yet to get brave enough to join in. But with today’s prompt being LONELY I felt like I couldn’t NOT join in. The rules are to write for 5 minutes, unedited, so here goes.
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As a young girl I never thought that the word LONELY would describe my time as a stay at home mom. Words that I thought would describe the experience:
Happy
Lovely
Fun
Easy
Fulfilling
It was always my dream to be a stay at home Mom. I guess I never considered the fact that it’s a stay at HOME kind of job and the fact that HOME, even when it’s YOUR HOME, can get claustrophobic.
And so I find myself here. With a four year old and an almost two year old. At HOME almost every day and very rarely ALONE.
And yet, I am so lonely.
It’s amazing how being a Mom can be so wonderful and yet so isolating.
I wouldn’t trade this season with my kiddo’s for anything. I am so thankful to be their Mom. And so overwhelmingly grateful that I get to stay home with them.
But some days….
I just want to get out and meet a friend for lunch without it revolving around nap times.
I want to be able to run with my husband in the morning without constantly checking the monitor to make sure the kids are ok.
I want to be able to text with someone and not be asked constantly what I (or the other person) is saying.
I want to be able to not edit everything I say to omit worry or fear or tiredness or crankiness (yikes) out of my speech because of the little ears hearing.
I just want a second ALONE.
And that’s the crux of being a Mom. Probably any Mom but I only have experience being a stay at home one so I don’t know even half of the troubles that a working out of the home Mom faces.
It amazes me that I can be lonely and yet never alone. It’s a good thing that I can talk to God any time of the day regardless of company otherwise I might be even crazier than I already am.
I wonder if anyone else feels like this. Surely this can’t be just me.
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Time’s up.
Kind of freeing to write like that. Maybe I’ll join the party more often. Thanks Lisa-Jo for having me!
Debby
August 9, 2013 at 11:22 amWell done for your first time with this! I was a stay at home mom too. Loved it! But, yeah, sometimes you need to spend time with people who don’t find the word “poop” hilarious!
Jessica
August 9, 2013 at 11:22 amJennifer, it is NOT just you! I’m a stay-at-home mom of a four year old, too, and oh….the LONELINESS! I am saying a prayer for you RIGHT NOW that you will feel Jesus’ presence with you today, more than ever. I understand how you feel, new friend. I do.
Visiting from FMF, and I’m so glad I did. Blessings to you today.
Richelle @ Our Wright-ing Pad
August 9, 2013 at 12:54 pmmost stay at home mamas feel this at times. i think some depends on how introverted or extroverted you are.
remember, it is ok for your kids to see you fail and then apologize and ask forgiveness, seek restoration – you don’t have to be perfect before their eyes all of the time. it is better to be real. once i let myself off that hook, i discovered that i became a much more effective-far-from-perfect mama.
may the Lord give you some good, satisfying fellowship today.
takingshapeslowly
August 10, 2013 at 1:14 amWelcome to FMF! I hope you continue to write on Fridays…it’s a great way to grow: as a person, as a writer, even as a mother. At least for me. 🙂 I hear you about never being alone and being lonely all at the same time. I have a five year old and a 22 month old and still loneliness strikes.